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LivingWell, Relationships

Life After An Unhealthy Relationship


After It’s Over

Walking out of a relationship you know isn’t good for you is difficult enough. However, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the hard times are over. It’s normal to have a whirlwind of emotions after you make the decision to leave. Learning to tame these feelings and take care of yourself is a key factor in recovering and moving forward. Here are a few things to remember as you begin your healing process.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

The group that you surround yourself with is incredibly important, whether it’s family, friends, or even co-workers. Not only is it beneficial to have others that you can trust and talk openly to but having people in your life that encourage you and want the best for you will help you heal.

Take Time to Process

Don’t push aside the things you’re feeling as if they don’t matter. Believe me, they do! Everybody processes differently. Some may feel happy to be out of the relationship, while others may be struggling to grieve what could have been. Some process alone or by talking with people they trust. No way of thinking is wrong. Whatever your process may be, don’t neglect the time to understand how you feel.

Forgive Yourself

Once you step out of an unhealthy relationship, it can be easy to blame yourself for ever getting into it in the first place. You may feel frustrated and like you wasted so much of your time and energy on something temporary. Blaming yourself will only make you feel worse. Instead, find acceptance in what happened. Think about all the valuable lessons you learned from this experience!

Focus on the Future

Looking back prevents you from looking forward. Be careful of getting so caught up in the past that you forget to look towards your future. Continuing to dwell on what could have been doesn’t get you anywhere. Remember that your future isn’t hopeless, just different.

Take Care of Yourself

Taking care of your needs is important. After leaving a relationship, it can be difficult to build back motivation. Maybe for a few days all you feel like doing is lying in bed with your thoughts. Whatever your process, self-care isn’t something you should put off. Taking time to engage in your hobbies can help ease your stress and lift your mood. Slowly the feelings of productivity will start to trickle back in.

You’ve Got This!

Moving on from an unhealthy relationship is hard, but not impossible. The hard times won’t last forever. You took the first big step by deciding to leave the relationship in the first place. If you’re strong enough to do that, you’re strong enough to do anything!

How We Can Help

We are here for you whether you are facing an STD or an unexpected pregnancy. To schedule your free and confidential appointment click here, call us at (530)-272-6800, or text us at (530)-802-0858.

Sources and Links

Ripes, Jesse. “13 Tips for How to Heal From a Toxic Relationship”. Modern Intimacy. 21 April 2021.
https://www.modernintimacy.com/13-tips-for-how-to-heal-from-a-toxic-relationship/

Taylor Counseling Group. “Moving on After a Toxic Relationship”. Taylor Counseling Group. 28 July 2021.
https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/blog/moving-on-after-a-toxic-relationship/#:~:text=After%20leaving%20someone%20who%20treats,you%20for%20your%20toxic%20relationship.

Cathy Seapy
CEO

The content on this page has been reviewed and approved by our CEO.

LivingWell, Pregnancy

Empowering Teens During Their Pregnancy

Empowering Teens During Their Pregnancy

Facing an unexpected pregnancy as a teenager can bring on a flood of emotions. We want you to know you are not alone. You are strong and brave. You can discover hope in this situation.

Take a Moment to Process Your Emotions

Emotions can be difficult to understand as a teenager, and pregnancy is an especially emotional experience. Be kind and give yourself grace. Create space to breathe and think through your pregnancy options. Don’t try to make any big decisions when you are emotionally overwhelmed.Seek out emotional support from an adult you can trust, whether that is your parents, a school counselor, a pastor, or a therapist. Here at LivingWell, Client Advocates are ready to sit down with you as you process your pregnancy and consider all your options.

Practice Some Self-Care

Caring for yourself and your body during your pregnancy is very important.

Focus on getting plenty of quality rest and sleep. To ensure you get a full 8 hours of sleep try going to bed earlier and don’t take your phone to bed so your mind can truly rest.

Exercise can be a lovely hobby, but it is important to discuss your exercise plans with your doctor during your pregnancy. Discuss with your doctor low impact activities like walking or swimming.

Reach out to your doctor about taking prenatal vitamins. You also want to make sure you are drinking lots of water and eating nutritious foods. You will need to add about 300 calories per day to your diet during your pregnancy. Try to avoid certain foods and drinks like alcohol, energy drinks, sushi, raw eggs, and some types of fish. Speak with your doctor for a complete list of foods to avoid. You can also find more information on this here.

Search Out Resources and Help

Your pregnancy may be stressing you out but knowing the right resources can help relieve that stress. Speak to your school counselor or local resource centers to find help. Make sure to ask about financial assistance programs that might be available to you. If you come into LivingWell, our Client Advocates may be able to offer you some referrals for resources.

Ask about other programs designed to help you reach your education goals such as childcare programs. There may be options through your school, federal programs, or local non-profits. Reaching your education goals will help you and your child in the future, so don’t be afraid to ask for help on your journey.

Lean on Supportive Relationships

Be okay with drawing boundaries to protect yourself. Remember that no one can force you to make a choice against your will. True friends will love and support you during difficult times, so lean on them. These friends are exactly the type of people you will always want and need in your life.

Consider Making an Adoption Plan

You can choose to carry your pregnancy to term without knowing what to do after you give birth. Give yourself time and space to consider adoption options. An adoption plan may be a good choice depending on your situation. Modern adoption can be unique for each mom, with differing levels of contact with your child, ranging from zero contact to frequent communication and interactions. If you want to read more about adoption plans, click here. Just remember, you can make this decision one step at a time.

How can we help?

LivingWell is here to offer you a safe place to process your pregnancy and learn about all your options. If you need to verify your pregnancy or progress, speak with a Client Advocate, or schedule your free and confidential appointment, give us a call at 530.272.6800. We would love to meet with you and answer any questions you may have during this time.

Jacobson, J. D., Zieve, D., & Conaway, B. “Teenage Pregnancy.” MedlinePlus.gov, ADAM Health Solutions, 5 Oct. 2020, https://medlineplus.gov/ency/patientinstructions/000607.htm.

Monigatti-Lake, N. “Five Questions You May Have About Adoption.” LivingWell Medical Clinic, LivingWell Medical Clinic, 2022, https://livingwellmedicalclinic.com/category/parenting/

Ben-Joseph, E. P. “Having a Healthy Pregnancy.” KidsHealthy.org, Nemorus TeensHealth, 2017, https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/pregnancy.html

Eva Fisher, BSN, RN, FCP

Nursing Director

The content on this page has been reviewed and approved by our Nursing Director.

LivingWell, Parenting, Pregnancy

Balancing Pregnancy and a Career

When facing an unexpected pregnancy, many women fear it will impact their job. If that’s you, here are some tips to take control of these impacts and balance your pregnancy and career.

Possible Accommodations

Do some research on the various laws that protect pregnant women against discrimination related to their pregnancy in the workplace. This can give you confidence as you address your needs with your boss.

Don’t be afraid to ask your employer for accommodations during your pregnancy. Possible accommodations to consider include temporary reassignment, time off for medical appointments, or working from home.

Tip: Best practice suggests submitting all accommodation requests in writing.

Tip: When asking for accommodations, frame them as a benefit to the company. For example, “I am more productive if I work from home during this time,” or “I would be more helpful in a different position currently.”

If you need to take time off during your pregnancy or after you give birth, refer to your employee handbook or ask your employer about their leave policy. This type of leave can fall under different terms, including Paid Family Leave or Pregnancy Disability Leave. There are some government protections around this type of leave, which you can find more information on here: federal protections or California protections. If you live outside of California, be sure to research the policies of your state.

Maintaining Your Career

Losing career momentum is a common concern related to an unexpected pregnancy. Here are some tips to set yourself up for success:

  1. Document your successes in the workplace! Start brainstorming all your accomplishments at your job and get them down on paper. This will concretely show the value you add to the company. (Bonus Tip: This is a great practice no matter where you are in your career.)
  2. You will be extra tired during your pregnancy and the early stages of parenthood, so establish the habit of writing everything down on paper now. Have daily, weekly, and future to-do lists. Create manuals or checklists for your tasks and projects. These documents will relieve your stress and help your coworkers during your absence.
  3. Build your network and try to help others. Having positive connections in your field will make returning easier.
  4. Follow a two-step process when telling your manager about your pregnancy. 1) Privately inform them about your pregnancy and schedule a meeting for further discussion. 2) Come to the meeting with a plan for how your tasks will be handled before and during your maternity leave. Come over-prepared to answer questions.
  5. Be direct with your needs and desires rather than leaving your boss to assume what you’ll want. Communicate your personal boundaries around things like scheduling, overtime, and traveling for work. (Bonus Tip: Speak to your doctor first to be fully informed.)

How We Can Help

If you think you are pregnant, we are here for you. If you want to talk to someone about your pregnancy options, schedule your free, confidential appointment, or call us at 530-272-6800 or text us at 530-802-0858.

Department of Labor Staff. “Employment Protection for Workers Who Are Pregnant or Nursing.” U.S. Department of Labor, https://www.dol.gov/agencies/wb/pregnant-nursing-employment-protections.

Department of Labor Staff. “Family and Medical Leave (FMLA).” U.S. Department of Labor, https://www.dol.gov/general/topic/benefits-leave/fmla.

Downey, Allyson. “The Career Advice I Wish I’d Followed When I Was Pregnant.” TIME, 5 Feb. 2016, https://time.com/4192644/work-advice-pregnant/.

King & Siegel. “Pregnant at Work in California? 9 Things You Need to Know about Your Right to Accommodations.” King & Siegel LLP, 15 April, 2021, https://www.kingsiegel.com/blog/pregnant-at-work-in-california-9-things-you-need/.

Tulshyan, Ruchika. “Career Strategies to Advance During Pregnancy.” Forbes, 28 April 2016, https://www.forbes.com/sites/ruchikatulshyan/2016/04/28/career-strategies-to-advance-during-pregnancy/?sh=1a5319df1e0a.

U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. “Pregnancy Discrimination and Pregnancy-Related Disability discrimination.” U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, https://www.eeoc.gov/pregnancy-discrimination.

Cathy Seapy
CEO

The content on this page has been reviewed and approved by our CEO.