LivingWell

LivingWell, Parenting, Relationships

Understanding Child Support

So you want to start your child support process. Child support can be intimidating if you don’t know how it works! This blog is here to help answer your questions and give you an understanding of child support so you can be more confident moving forward.

Note: There are links attached to certain words that will bring you to a reliable informative site if you need more information on that specific topic.

What is child support?

To put it simply, child support is when one parent pays the other parent to help support their child financially. “Most frequently, child support is paid by the non-custodial parent to the custodial parent, but this is not always the case” (Wolf). Depending on circumstances and how many children you have, the amount of child support being paid can vary. Child support stays active until the supported child turns 18, unless circumstances demand otherwise. Each state’s child support may look a bit different. Visit this link to find your state and learn about your specific guidelines.

What is child support used for?

The money given to you by child support is meant to financially support the child involved. It’s not intended to be used for the parent’s own personal use. According to Jennifer Wolf at VeryWell Family, child support funds can be used to pay for expenses like:

  • Housing
  • Food and clothing
  • Toys
  • Medical expenses
  • School expenses
  • Extracurricular activities

How do I know if I qualify for child support?

According to an article by Danielle Gilmore, there are a few things that the court analyzes when receiving an application for child support. These things include the necessities of the child, the income and financial situation of both parents, and the physical and emotional state of the child. You can learn more about your child support eligibility by meeting with an attorney.

How do I begin my child support process?

This is the part where you may begin to feel intimidated. You don’t have to be! The basis of the child support process is built up of three steps.

  • Have information on the child’s other parent
  • First, you’re going to need simple information on your child’s other parent. This could be their employer or workplace, birthdate, address, or social security number. If you have none of these, visit this link to find resources available to help you find more information.
  • Confirm paternity
  • In order to move forward with child support, you’re going to need proof of paternity for the father. If the father’s identity is in question or the parents are unmarried, some courts will use DNA testing to confirm his paternity, while others may just have the father sign a form where they acknowledge their paternity.
  • Find your arrangement agreement and obtain a child support court order
  • You and the other parent are allowed to come to an agreement independently. This is called child support by agreement. However, if you do this, you have no legal bind in the agreement. If something goes wrong, the court and the state will not be able to enforce your chosen agreement since it was not solidified legally. This is why it’s recommended to sort out your arrangement in a family court and obtain a child support court order, which is a legally binding document of your agreed upon arrangement.

Can I make an appeal to change my child support amount?

You certainly can make an appeal! If circumstances in the child’s life have changed, you can ask the court to either decrease or increase the amount of child support that you are receiving. You will need to provide proof of the reason you are asking for the change. The court will either accept or deny your request.

How We Can Help

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy or need support, we are here to help you. Schedule your safe and confidential appointment by clicking here, calling us at (530)-272-6800, or texting us at (530)-802-0858.

Sources and Links

Armstrong, Hal. Child Support by Agreement. FindLaw. May 2023.
https://www.findlaw.com/family/child-support/child-support-by-agreement.html 
Armstrong, Hal. Child Support by Court Order. FindLaw. June 2023.
https://www.findlaw.com/family/child-support/child-support-by-court-order.html 
Armstrong, Hal. Getting Child Support Checklist. FindLaw. June 2023.
https://www.findlaw.com/family/child-support/getting-child-support-checklist.html 
Gilmore, Danielle. Child Support Eligibility. FindLaw. June 2023.
https://www.findlaw.com/family/child-support/are-you-eligible-for-child support.html#:~:text=The%20
court%20considers%20other%20factors,The%20income%20of%20both%20parents 
Gilmore, Danielle. State-Specific Child Support Information and Guidelines. FindLaw. June 2023.
https://www.findlaw.com/family/child-support/state-specific-child-support-information-and-guidelines.html 
Mascolo, John. Legal Significance of Paternity. FindLaw. June 2023.
https://www.findlaw.com/family/paternity/legal-significance-of-paternity.html 
Wolf, Jennifer. The Purpose of Child Support. VeryWell Family. June 2020.
https://www.verywellfamily.com/child-support-legal-definition-2997472 

Cathy Seapy
CEO

The content on this page has been reviewed and approved by our CEO.

LivingWell, Relationships

Signs Of A Controlling Relationship

Seeing The Warning Signs

Do you feel physically or emotionally trapped in your relationship, isolated from friends and family, and like you hardly have a say in what you do or where you go? If you answered yes to any of those questions, there’s a big chance you’re in a controlling relationship. Whether you’ve been in a relationship for 2 months or 2 years, it’s important to be aware of potential harmful behaviors that may be present.

Being Pulled Away From Friends and Family

Controlling partners in a relationship will often tug you away from people that you’re close to. They want to be the only person who is constant in your life. Andrea Bonlor, a psychologist, writes in an article for Psychology Today that “It may start subtly, but this is often a first step for a controlling person. Maybe they complain about how often you talk to your brother on the phone, or say they don’t like your best friend and don’t think you should hang out with her anymore. Or they try to turn you against anyone that you’re used to relying on for support besides them.” This is one of the most common, and most damaging, signs of a controlling relationship.

Feeling Criticized

Criticism is another common sign that your partner is controlling. “Someone who’s controlling is always trying to undermine your confidence and put you down in private or in public,” Lilianna Hogen writes in her article on controlling traits. “They seem to want to emphasize your flaws and make you feel self-conscious about your quirks.” This can look like:

  • Pointing out small mistakes
  • Critiquing what you wear
  • Making jokes about you in front of others
  • Unnecessarily commenting on the way you act or the things that you say
  • Mocking you

 

Constant criticism, even for the little things, can tear you down and make you feel like you need to change who you are. You may even start to act differently to avoid the constant jabs. This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

Making You Feel Guilty

If you ever feel hurt by your partner and express this to them, only for them to turn it around and blame you for their actions, they may be controlling you. Controlling partners may have a difficult time taking responsibility and make you feel guilty for something that they did. You might find yourself apologizing to them even though you were the one who was hurt. “A controlling partner will always say that their emotions are your fault. They will use you as a scapegoat and take the role of a victim, even in situations that you are not involved in.” (Hogen).

Invading Your Privacy

A partner who controls you will want to control everything in your life as well. To do this, this may snoop around where they shouldn’t. This behavior looks like:

  • Reading your texts
  • Going through your mail
  • Reading your emails
  • Looking through your personal belongings
  • Checking your social media

 

Most of the time, these invasive actions are done without the other person’s knowledge. In every relationship, you should always have your privacy. Someone who ignores that privacy is someone who ignores boundaries. Andrea Bonlor writes that, “A controlling partner typically feels that they have the right to know more than they actually do. Whether they keep their snooping secret or openly demand that you must share everything with them, it is a violation of boundaries from the get-go.”

You Are Strong and Brave!

It can be hard to take steps forward in tough situations. You can do it! You are strong and confident. Find support in the people around you who can help you move forward and build a better future.

How We Can Help

Our services come at no cost to you. We are here for you if you want to talk more about healthy relationships. Schedule your safe and confidential appointment by clicking here, calling us at (530)-272-6800, or texting us at (530)-802-0858.

Sources and Links

Bonlor, Andrea. 20 Signs of a Controlling Partner. Psychology Today. 2015.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201506/20-signs-of-a-controlling-partner

Hogan, Lilianna. Warning Signs That Your Partner Is Controlling. WebMD. 2021

https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/warning-signs-sexual-abuse-teens-young-adults

Lebow, Hilary. Are You in a Relationship with a Controlling Partner? 9 Signs. PsychCentral. 2021.

https://psychcentral.com/lib/signs-controlling-partner-relationship

Cathy Seapy
CEO

The content on this page has been reviewed and approved by our CEO.

LivingWell, Services

First Steps After The Positive Test

Livingwell Medical Clinic - First Steps After The Positive Test

Finding Out

Holding a positive pregnancy test in your hands can bring a tidal wave of different emotions crashing down on you. Your head may spiral with thoughts like “I can’t afford to have a baby” or “it’s not the right time”. Whatever your feelings may be, there are important first steps to take after discovering you’re pregnant.

 

Take Another Test

Even though your pregnancy test read positive, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re pregnant. While false positives are highly unlikely, small things can trigger them, such as taking the test incorrectly, using an expired test, or having had a recent miscarriage or abortion. It’s important to take a pregnancy test performed by professional healthcare workers at a clinic or hospital for higher accuracy.

 

Schedule an Ultrasound

Having an ultrasound is possibly the most important step to take after confirming your pregnancy. One of the main reasons to have an ultrasound is to determine if you have an ectopic pregnancy. This is when the fertilized egg has attached outside of the uterus, in places such as the cervix or fallopian tube. Marissa Selner writes in an article for Healthline that “Ectopic pregnancies aren’t safe for the mother. Also, the embryo won’t be able to develop to term. It’s necessary to remove the embryo as soon as possible for the mother’s immediate health and long-term fertility.” Ectopic pregnancies require immediate medical attention, making them a very important aspect to look out for. Ultrasounds also reveal the number of babies the mother may be expecting.

 

Confirm a Viable Pregnancy

Confirming that your pregnancy is viable can also be done through an ultrasound. It’s important to be sure that your pregnancy is safe and progressing smoothly. During the ultrasound, fetal cardiac activity can be detected, confirming that your pregnancy is viable. Checking to see how far along you are in your pregnancy is also a step in confirming viability. This gives you an accurate estimated due date for your baby.

 

Find Support

You’re not in this alone! Whether it’s a friend, family member, or even a co-worker, having someone you can trust can make all the difference when your thoughts are spiraling. Expressing and communicating how you feel can take a weight off your shoulders that you may not have known you had. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

 

How We Can Help

If you find yourself facing an unplanned pregnancy, we are here to listen, understand, and give support. We offer pregnancy testing, ultrasounds, and options consultations at no cost to you. Schedule your safe and confidential appointment by clicking here, calling us at (530)-272-6800, or text us at (530)-802-0858.

 

Sources and Links

Adcock, Davina, 7 Reasons Your Pregnancy Test Gave a False-Positive, The Source, 2021
https://www.thesource.org/post/reasons-your-pregnancy-test-gave-a-false-positive
 

Monigatti-Lake, Neva, Why Do I Need an Ultrasound, LivingWell Medical Clinic, 2021
https://livingwellmedicalclinic.com/category/ultrasounds/
 

Selner, Marissa, Ectopic Pregnancy, Healthline, 2023
https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/ectopic-pregnancy#diagnosis
 

LivingWell Medical Center - First Steps After The Positive Test

Eva Fisher
Nursing Director
The content on this page has been reviewed and approved by our Nursing Director.