Every month your period comes like clockwork – except this month. You feel tired and achy and just can’t seem to shake the flu bug that has been plaguing you for the last couple of weeks. And every time someone asks you a question you get irritated.
You didn’t plan it. You thought you’d taken precautions. But there’s no denying it; you took a pregnancy test and you’re definitely pregnant! Now what?
Pregnancy brings with it a wave of emotions. For some, this may be a happy moment, for others it can seem like the world is about to end. Either way, an unexpected pregnancy means the future may not look like what you had expected.
After the initial shock of the positive test, your mind may be flooded with questions. Often the first is “How will I tell everyone that I’m pregnant?”
Consider telling your partner first, especially if you are in a healthy relationship. Look for an undistracted time to share the news. Tell him what you are thinking and feeling. Remember, you aren’t the only one feeling fear right now. Ask him to share his thoughts and feelings with you, too. Keep in mind that news of a pregnancy was not something he was expecting, and he may need some time and space to process his emotions before responding, and that’s OK.
At some point you realize that you’re going to have to tell your parents, and the sooner you do the better. It’s perfectly normal to be afraid to tell them something that you know will disappoint them. You’ve probably had similar feelings when you had to let them know that you failed a class, got into a fight, lied to them, or did something else that was sure to make them upset.
You got through it, and felt so much better.
Decide when, where, and how you’ll tell them, and decide who should be present for the conversation. Choose a time when your parents are relaxed and free to talk for a while. If possible, take your partner with you. This will show a level of maturity and willingness to take responsibility from both of you.
Now is the time to be completely honest with them. Your parents will probably feel upset that you got pregnant, but they will ultimately survive. It’s not the end of the world. In the shock of the moment things might be said that you find hurtful, but don’t take it personally. Chances are they might not have known that you are sexually active, so they may need some time to absorb the news of your pregnancy. Their anger, shock, and negative reactions are just your parents’ way of working through their emotions. But the shock won’t last forever.
You are dealing with a difficult situation right now, and although it may be hard at first, talking to your parents about your pregnancy is really the right thing to do.
Many parents have a hard time expressing their feelings to their children, but most parents truly love their children and want the best for them.
After the initial shock has faded, talk with your parents about how you will handle this situation. Words like abortion and adoption might come up. This might be what you are also thinking, but it’s best to wait until everyone is calmer before talking about all the choices ahead of you. Some parents might try to pressure you to do something you don’t want to do. So, be prepared to stand up for yourself if you do not agree. You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.
If you think you might be pregnant but are unsure what to do or maybe you just need a place to talk through your options, LivingWell is here to help walk you through the process. Give us a call 530-272-6800 to schedule a free and confidential appointment.